Rachel Gardner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sweartoyou) wrote2018-04-06 10:45 am
sweartoyou) wrote2018-04-06 10:45 am
Ryslig | IC Inbox.
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, RACHEL GARDNER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 000.00.000.00 | ||||
[Atem nods, not missing the implications of fixing a note that's out of place.]
And, of course, no one but him wants him to be completely in charge...but he doesn't see it as a bad thing. As long as he can get the pieces into place, it'll be fine.
[Because he wants things just so...
...Atem wonders if there's a compulsion there. If it's like an itch, or an off-note like Ray described, but all the time. Most people seek out companionship, most people want that enough to be willing to compromise some of their comfort....is there something going on that makes it not worth it, for Aunamee?
He looks at Ray, curious. She mentioned he still believes, but left herself out of that. So...]
What about you?
[There's enough of a pause between "he doesn't see it as a bad thing" and this question to make it clear Atem's not demanding to know if she's an accomplice, accusing her of sympathizing. He's not. His second question, just as mild, clarifies further--]
What do you want?
And, of course, no one but him wants him to be completely in charge...but he doesn't see it as a bad thing. As long as he can get the pieces into place, it'll be fine.
[Because he wants things just so...
...Atem wonders if there's a compulsion there. If it's like an itch, or an off-note like Ray described, but all the time. Most people seek out companionship, most people want that enough to be willing to compromise some of their comfort....is there something going on that makes it not worth it, for Aunamee?
He looks at Ray, curious. She mentioned he still believes, but left herself out of that. So...]
What about you?
[There's enough of a pause between "he doesn't see it as a bad thing" and this question to make it clear Atem's not demanding to know if she's an accomplice, accusing her of sympathizing. He's not. His second question, just as mild, clarifies further--]
What do you want?
[What does she want… It’s a good question, sort of, because it makes her pause to think on it. There’s a lot of things she wants, but they don’t really seem like the sort of answer Atem would be looking for. She looks off towards nothing, almost like she’s enjoying the scenery rather than just spacing out. She wonders aloud,]
I like fixing things… I want them to be mine. But it doesn’t work out that way, most of the time. It makes me really sad. [Her hand reaches out for Molly, squishing against it.] It’s not the same as how it used to be, though. I’m human…and so are the people important to me. We’re not meant to be perfect. Zack was able to show me that things that seem broken or bad… That’s just how they are. Sometimes that is what makes them perfect.
So I guess… Since my greatest wish was already fulfilled, I want others to see that, too. I want them to be able to listen to each other. Maybe they can find acceptance, or help someone else with their heart’s desires. But even then… All I really want is to hold my precious memories close while I’m here.
I like fixing things… I want them to be mine. But it doesn’t work out that way, most of the time. It makes me really sad. [Her hand reaches out for Molly, squishing against it.] It’s not the same as how it used to be, though. I’m human…and so are the people important to me. We’re not meant to be perfect. Zack was able to show me that things that seem broken or bad… That’s just how they are. Sometimes that is what makes them perfect.
So I guess… Since my greatest wish was already fulfilled, I want others to see that, too. I want them to be able to listen to each other. Maybe they can find acceptance, or help someone else with their heart’s desires. But even then… All I really want is to hold my precious memories close while I’m here.
[ Honestly, chill is...good, right now. She has to appear like everything is fine, while she's quietly plotting her own death. ]
its only affecting me
i mean the thing
its affecting everyone but its only killing me
other people touched it and are fine
i mean
[ She keeps thinking, of more to clarify, more to say, and it's exhausting. Just sending one thing after another, not carefully crafting a reply, but it's urgent. It's... She has to. ]
dont worry you don't
have to keep track of that
its only affecting me
i mean the thing
its affecting everyone but its only killing me
other people touched it and are fine
i mean
[ She keeps thinking, of more to clarify, more to say, and it's exhausting. Just sending one thing after another, not carefully crafting a reply, but it's urgent. It's... She has to. ]
dont worry you don't
have to keep track of that
Oh. That's convenient. I wonder why. Is someone punishing you?
Do I know which apartment is yours already?
[If she does, she's obviously forgotten it... Not information she'd want to hold onto normally, just in case.]
Do I know which apartment is yours already?
[If she does, she's obviously forgotten it... Not information she'd want to hold onto normally, just in case.]
[People might say she's hard to understand, but none of that's hard to understand at all. It seems like she's done a lot of growing, from a person she was, who wanted things to be perfect, who maybe held onto them a little too tightly, who had expectations that reality wouldn't meet, to...this calm, wise snail girl, whose wish is for everyone to find acceptance.]
Heh!
[It's not making fun of her. It's just...he can vibe with that.]
It's true that fixing things doesn't always make them yours. But it's also true that anything you really care about becomes a part of your heart! So, the things you love....even if you're apart, they're still with you. The part of you that's them...no one can take that away.
[So, it's a little like them being yours...it's a sense of connection, of you putting your soul into something. Where he comes from, it's very real magic -- you can work miracles with it.]
Heh!
[It's not making fun of her. It's just...he can vibe with that.]
It's true that fixing things doesn't always make them yours. But it's also true that anything you really care about becomes a part of your heart! So, the things you love....even if you're apart, they're still with you. The part of you that's them...no one can take that away.
[So, it's a little like them being yours...it's a sense of connection, of you putting your soul into something. Where he comes from, it's very real magic -- you can work miracles with it.]
[ Riley fights back a bitter laugh and equally bitter tears. ]
probably
its 808
top floor. sorry
there's an elevator
probably
its 808
top floor. sorry
there's an elevator
[...Heh. That makes all too much sense to her.]
Mm. The same way a promise can't be stolen by another. They might take away your choice and it might never be realized, but that won't change the fact that the promise was made. It's a decision you make in your heart to believe in.
[And it's true -- it does make miracles happen. The things she was able to survive with Zack and what they accomplished still seems impossible when she's looking back, but at the same time...of course Zack was able to do it. He was incredible. He made her closer to incredible, too.]
Mm. The same way a promise can't be stolen by another. They might take away your choice and it might never be realized, but that won't change the fact that the promise was made. It's a decision you make in your heart to believe in.
[And it's true -- it does make miracles happen. The things she was able to survive with Zack and what they accomplished still seems impossible when she's looking back, but at the same time...of course Zack was able to do it. He was incredible. He made her closer to incredible, too.]
Top floor...
[Top floor......]
Don't worry. I'll be there for you.
[Top floor......]
Don't worry. I'll be there for you.
[Sometimes, you're a kid, with only so much control over your circumstances, and the future, the unknown, is terrifying. So, you hold onto what you can control, you make your friends a part of you, and you draw a smiley face on your hands so that when you are separated, inevitably, unstoppably....you have something with you to make you feel better.
And your command of dark, ancient powers makes it real.
He nods! The promise Ray made to him...that's important to him. Nothing will ever change the way it made him feel, at a time he'd needed something like that to hold onto so badly...]
Yeah.
[He hadn't thought of promises in that way before...breaking them is something he takes very seriously, when it's one he made. But she's right that doesn't change the fact that it was made in sincerity, that everything you could do was done...the way it made you feel.]
Our hearts are definitely connected! Because you made a promise to me, when I really needed one...and, because you're a part of my heart.
[He's not sure how Ray Gardner's oozed her way this far into his heart this fast, but it's the truth. She's something else!]
And your command of dark, ancient powers makes it real.
He nods! The promise Ray made to him...that's important to him. Nothing will ever change the way it made him feel, at a time he'd needed something like that to hold onto so badly...]
Yeah.
[He hadn't thought of promises in that way before...breaking them is something he takes very seriously, when it's one he made. But she's right that doesn't change the fact that it was made in sincerity, that everything you could do was done...the way it made you feel.]
Our hearts are definitely connected! Because you made a promise to me, when I really needed one...and, because you're a part of my heart.
[He's not sure how Ray Gardner's oozed her way this far into his heart this fast, but it's the truth. She's something else!]
Oh.
[It's a faint exclamation of surprise, one that's almost more a breath than a word, as much as either of those can make sense when you're a slime. Sense or not, they existed, same as the little drops that rolled like marbles down her cheeks onto her arm where they're instantly absorbed back as a part of her. Just the week before, her tears had been bigger, splashing down between sobs or slugging down a werewolf's pelt trying to reach her again. She likes these ones more.
'I accept you' and 'I'm here for you' are wonderful. 'You don't deserve to die' is a sort of expression of love, as misguided as it is. She can appreciate all these things on different levels. Being told she's part of someone's heart is...different. It hits like a loving hand brushing hair away from someone's face, or fabric resting back around a window frame after a soft gust lifts it. She doesn't know what to say to that. Instead, Rachel sits up so she can rest her hands where her heart would be if she still had one, slim red nucleus floating out from the safety of her shell to try and take its place and doing a happy little twirl. Her smile is contented.
It's still just the beginning of November, but gosh has it been a rollercoaster.]
Definitely. I can feel it, too.
[He's hers, only the thought is more pure than it used to be. He's someone that she wants to keep close and take care of, but he's his own person and he's made the choice to make room for her in his heart in return. They're sharing their hearts rather than her claiming his to judge against some unrealistic ideal.]
My heart might be tainted and selfish...but I'd be happy if part of it was you.
[It's a faint exclamation of surprise, one that's almost more a breath than a word, as much as either of those can make sense when you're a slime. Sense or not, they existed, same as the little drops that rolled like marbles down her cheeks onto her arm where they're instantly absorbed back as a part of her. Just the week before, her tears had been bigger, splashing down between sobs or slugging down a werewolf's pelt trying to reach her again. She likes these ones more.
'I accept you' and 'I'm here for you' are wonderful. 'You don't deserve to die' is a sort of expression of love, as misguided as it is. She can appreciate all these things on different levels. Being told she's part of someone's heart is...different. It hits like a loving hand brushing hair away from someone's face, or fabric resting back around a window frame after a soft gust lifts it. She doesn't know what to say to that. Instead, Rachel sits up so she can rest her hands where her heart would be if she still had one, slim red nucleus floating out from the safety of her shell to try and take its place and doing a happy little twirl. Her smile is contented.
It's still just the beginning of November, but gosh has it been a rollercoaster.]
Definitely. I can feel it, too.
[He's hers, only the thought is more pure than it used to be. He's someone that she wants to keep close and take care of, but he's his own person and he's made the choice to make room for her in his heart in return. They're sharing their hearts rather than her claiming his to judge against some unrealistic ideal.]
My heart might be tainted and selfish...but I'd be happy if part of it was you.
[Huh...she's crying. Atem's brows draw up a moment; did he say something wrong? But it doesn't feel wrong...it feels like the way Maya's tears changed, when he gave her the scarab to call him. It doesn't feel like she's crying because something's wrong.
Still...he's gotta stop making girls cry.
Anyway, he dosn't miss her nucleus as it comes out, takes the place of her heart...it makes sense to keep it inside the shell most of the time, it's safest there. Atem feels pretty privileged to see it come out -- to get to watch it spin, like a heart flipping over itself, but a real motion.]
Me too.
[But, he does feel residually bad about making her cry...which means now doesn't feel like the time to start telling her about what her heart is and isn't. It's weird, she definitely seems like she's feeling better than she was when she first came out here, but she's crying...]
Hey...does Molly know any games? Like fetch?
Still...he's gotta stop making girls cry.
Anyway, he dosn't miss her nucleus as it comes out, takes the place of her heart...it makes sense to keep it inside the shell most of the time, it's safest there. Atem feels pretty privileged to see it come out -- to get to watch it spin, like a heart flipping over itself, but a real motion.]
Me too.
[But, he does feel residually bad about making her cry...which means now doesn't feel like the time to start telling her about what her heart is and isn't. It's weird, she definitely seems like she's feeling better than she was when she first came out here, but she's crying...]
Hey...does Molly know any games? Like fetch?
On Christmas Eve, Rachel's work area has a new addition. The box is neatly wrapped in soft, sage-green paper decorated with printed holly leaves, and tied with a red ribbon and a tag that simply states in Gabriel's handwriting: Rachel.
When opened, the box contains homemade lebkuchen, and a second parcel, carefully wrapped in tissue paper. Inside, there is a brand new sewing kit, with suture needles, grips, forceps, and a scalpel. The most curious part of it is the leather the case it's contained in, which appears to be made from freckled leather...
When opened, the box contains homemade lebkuchen, and a second parcel, carefully wrapped in tissue paper. Inside, there is a brand new sewing kit, with suture needles, grips, forceps, and a scalpel. The most curious part of it is the leather the case it's contained in, which appears to be made from freckled leather...
[Molly, interest summoned by its name being said, squishes what would be its chin if it was a normal dog against Atem's arm. Rachel wipes at her eyes, not that it does much or like they're a risk for her little snail-like friend, being made of slime.]
Oh, um...
[It's a little embarrassing, she supposes, when she thinks about it.]
I'm not sure... I didn't teach it. I don't really like when it goes too far from me, even when I make myself a leash. [Just in case she gets distracted and loses track if it.] I'm too slow to have shown it how fetch would work. But...there was a short time that Reira was taking care of it for me.
Oh, um...
[It's a little embarrassing, she supposes, when she thinks about it.]
I'm not sure... I didn't teach it. I don't really like when it goes too far from me, even when I make myself a leash. [Just in case she gets distracted and loses track if it.] I'm too slow to have shown it how fetch would work. But...there was a short time that Reira was taking care of it for me.
[ The next time Steve encounters Rachel following the 25th, he has a couple of things to pass off to her:
A basket filled with miscellaneous craft supplies with an aesthetic he thinks Rachel will appreciate. He does not know what felting is, but some kits for it were on sale.
A stack of mad libs. He got these for all the other kids, therefore she's getting some, too. Fun???
A nice femur from his pantry. ]
[A sloppily wrapped package with a card is left for Rachel!!
Inside the package is a somewhat lopsided but cute (and HUGE) Ace the Pangolin plushie from the arcade, a small bag of dog treats, and some cute holographic stickers.
The card reads, in Sonic's somewhat messy handwriting;
"TO MY FAVORITE BAD GUY =D
Happy Nattenwhatever and merry chrismas!! I wasnt sure what to get you but this doll is pretty cute and soft and I figured you could put the stickers on your shell or whatever if/when you go back to being the GigaSnail!! the dog treats are a joke but they actually smell really good??? anyway thanks for being my friend
Neapoliteen Strawberry OUT!! (That's me, SONIC)"
There's a stick figure drawing of Rachel (as a slime) and Sonic (as his normal furry hedgehog form that she hasn't actually seen...) at the bottom of the card]
Inside the package is a somewhat lopsided but cute (and HUGE) Ace the Pangolin plushie from the arcade, a small bag of dog treats, and some cute holographic stickers.
The card reads, in Sonic's somewhat messy handwriting;
"TO MY FAVORITE BAD GUY =D
Happy Nattenwhatever and merry chrismas!! I wasnt sure what to get you but this doll is pretty cute and soft and I figured you could put the stickers on your shell or whatever if/when you go back to being the GigaSnail!! the dog treats are a joke but they actually smell really good??? anyway thanks for being my friend
Neapoliteen Strawberry OUT!! (That's me, SONIC)"
There's a stick figure drawing of Rachel (as a slime) and Sonic (as his normal furry hedgehog form that she hasn't actually seen...) at the bottom of the card]
[ Riley isn’t quite sure if Rachel can like…eat the same as other people. She’ll give her some gingersnaps, if she can, but! The main gift is something that looks a little out of a different time period. The 1980’s, in fact.
Rachel’s gift is a cassette player, with a note that says not to listen to it around other people. When she turns it on, she’ll find it’s a custom recorded 8-track of various cold cases, all recited by Riley herself. There’s the case of the Black Dahlia, the Chicago Tylenol murders, and more.
For the nights she can’t send a new bedtime story, the note continues. November was...pretty busy, after all. ]
Rachel’s gift is a cassette player, with a note that says not to listen to it around other people. When she turns it on, she’ll find it’s a custom recorded 8-track of various cold cases, all recited by Riley herself. There’s the case of the Black Dahlia, the Chicago Tylenol murders, and more.
For the nights she can’t send a new bedtime story, the note continues. November was...pretty busy, after all. ]
[After seeing that toy mouse, Niina knew what to give. It's a wooden box, a jewelry box to be precise. Made out of some very nicely made exotic wood. (That Niina totally didn't steal from a victim. Perish the thought.)
Niina has taken out the drawers for specific jewelry, though. It's sloppily done but it looks like she tried to make it into a box for sewing supplies. There's also a seashell charm plus key ring in the box. For when she's back to being a slime.
There's a very stiffly written 'Happy Nattenfest - Niina' slipped in, too.]
Niina has taken out the drawers for specific jewelry, though. It's sloppily done but it looks like she tried to make it into a box for sewing supplies. There's also a seashell charm plus key ring in the box. For when she's back to being a slime.
There's a very stiffly written 'Happy Nattenfest - Niina' slipped in, too.]
You're really good at giving gifts. The temple artists couldn't have done a better job on the bodies of the gods. Are the teeth from anyone in particular, or do they just look cool?
[What a cutie! Cutest mollusk he's ever seen. Atem pets it on top of its head.]
Well, I'm here, so it should be safe to test if Molly knows it...
[Since there's no danger of a snuppy moving faster than a nephilim.
Atem picks up one of the many small, bare, fallen twigs in the park, casualties of fall, and gives it a light toss, only about six or seven feet away, to see what happens.]
...fetch?
[In case, you know, it takes a verbal command.]
Well, I'm here, so it should be safe to test if Molly knows it...
[Since there's no danger of a snuppy moving faster than a nephilim.
Atem picks up one of the many small, bare, fallen twigs in the park, casualties of fall, and gives it a light toss, only about six or seven feet away, to see what happens.]
...fetch?
[In case, you know, it takes a verbal command.]
I'm glad. Giving gifts isn't something I'm used to doing.
Just look cool. I don't usually think a lot about the people I hunt. Sorry. I could get the name from the morgue cases if you want.
Just look cool. I don't usually think a lot about the people I hunt. Sorry. I could get the name from the morgue cases if you want.
[Demon Atem seriously considers this. How much does he care?
The answer is, "a more or less healthy amount."]
Yes, I think I'd like to know their name. If there's a story behind them, I want to know it! If I'm going to be wearing their teeth, I should do something to honor their memory...even if it's just remembering their name.
The answer is, "a more or less healthy amount."]
Yes, I think I'd like to know their name. If there's a story behind them, I want to know it! If I'm going to be wearing their teeth, I should do something to honor their memory...even if it's just remembering their name.
Okay. No problem, Atem. :)
[Of course he'd feel that way. She should have thought of it earlier!
Regardless, the next evening he'll get another message.]
Christina Jarlsson for three of them. One of them is from Albert Beckstrand. The rest of his became dice, and I used both for some beads in other gifts, too.
[Of course he'd feel that way. She should have thought of it earlier!
Regardless, the next evening he'll get another message.]
Christina Jarlsson for three of them. One of them is from Albert Beckstrand. The rest of his became dice, and I used both for some beads in other gifts, too.
Thank you, Ray. I'll remember them.
Your memory really is sharper! I'm impressed. Have you noticed any other differences since becoming a werewolf?
Your memory really is sharper! I'm impressed. Have you noticed any other differences since becoming a werewolf?
Yep. My thinking's back to how it should be.
I'm not slow at all. All my senses are improved, and I'm stronger. It's easier to feel excited and happy...but also easier to get lonely. I feel like I want to be around the people I like more. I'm really soft. I forgot what it was like to feel itchy and achey until now, and sometimes it feels like my fingers get in the way since I can't be as precise. It's a lot harder to ignore things, even if I just want to sleep... Plus werewolves aren't as unusual, so I don't get as much unnecessary attention.
I'm not slow at all. All my senses are improved, and I'm stronger. It's easier to feel excited and happy...but also easier to get lonely. I feel like I want to be around the people I like more. I'm really soft. I forgot what it was like to feel itchy and achey until now, and sometimes it feels like my fingers get in the way since I can't be as precise. It's a lot harder to ignore things, even if I just want to sleep... Plus werewolves aren't as unusual, so I don't get as much unnecessary attention.
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