Rachel Gardner (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sweartoyou) wrote2018-04-06 10:45 am
sweartoyou) wrote2018-04-06 10:45 am
Ryslig | IC Inbox.
WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, RACHEL GARDNER. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 000.00.000.00 | ||||
Why? Because then it's "gay"? So are you. That's stupid. Boys and girls should be allowed to do the same things
[From Rachel "boys are so stupid" Gardner. She's not wrong, though.]
[From Rachel "boys are so stupid" Gardner. She's not wrong, though.]
I'm the biggest gay gay homosexual you've ever met, thank you very much.
[He's desperately trying to not out his brothers crush. Just side stepping as hard as he can.]
Its mostly the fact toxic masculinity exists, girlie. Most dudes are socially taught to not let many people get touchy with them unless its a girl, family member or romantic partner.
My bros and I kind of skate on that line, we didn't grow up with all of that because we lived in a sewer. We're all naturally pretty touch people. I just also know Donnie doesn't like people really touching him all that much in general. He thinks you're cool, so you're allowed. He'll tell you when he doesn't feel it.
IDK how Sonic would be about me going 'so, bro, can i pet you'. I try to keep boundaries in mind when handling people, even if I like touching and its how I express affection.
[He's desperately trying to not out his brothers crush. Just side stepping as hard as he can.]
Its mostly the fact toxic masculinity exists, girlie. Most dudes are socially taught to not let many people get touchy with them unless its a girl, family member or romantic partner.
My bros and I kind of skate on that line, we didn't grow up with all of that because we lived in a sewer. We're all naturally pretty touch people. I just also know Donnie doesn't like people really touching him all that much in general. He thinks you're cool, so you're allowed. He'll tell you when he doesn't feel it.
IDK how Sonic would be about me going 'so, bro, can i pet you'. I try to keep boundaries in mind when handling people, even if I like touching and its how I express affection.
That's still stupid.
Anyway, Sonic didn't grow up around people, either. I really don't think he would have cared. I think he only really met a human a little before he came here, and that's his dad now.
...You really are a lot alike...
Anyway, Sonic didn't grow up around people, either. I really don't think he would have cared. I think he only really met a human a little before he came here, and that's his dad now.
...You really are a lot alike...
I didn't make the system, Ray-Bae. I am just an unfortunate participant.
Same voice bros, same backstory bros, frick yeah.
Same voice bros, same backstory bros, frick yeah.
[Good... Well, half good. The silver lining kind of good.]
I'm coming over. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want but I'm going to be there.
[After she bullies Elias into giving her two more pairs of earplugs just in case, especially after swinging through and confirming that Donnie hasn't returned yet. If she wasn't concerned about getting to Leo, she might have taken the time to wreck shit and accepted some kind of consequence, but he's more important than her thirst for revenge, even as strong as it is as a shade.
Before long, a flare and flicker off of lights is the herald of her arrival, and she's pushing through the wall of his room, which she'd decided he shared with Donnie, by the look of things. If he isn't there, she will be flitting through the house until she finds him and huddling close in his shadow.]
I'm coming over. You don't have to talk to me if you don't want but I'm going to be there.
[After she bullies Elias into giving her two more pairs of earplugs just in case, especially after swinging through and confirming that Donnie hasn't returned yet. If she wasn't concerned about getting to Leo, she might have taken the time to wreck shit and accepted some kind of consequence, but he's more important than her thirst for revenge, even as strong as it is as a shade.
Before long, a flare and flicker off of lights is the herald of her arrival, and she's pushing through the wall of his room, which she'd decided he shared with Donnie, by the look of things. If he isn't there, she will be flitting through the house until she finds him and huddling close in his shadow.]
[The flickering of lights is enough to make Leo relax just a little. In any other context, it would be such a horror movie sign of things going wrong.
Right now, its comforting.
He slows his walk as he sees her slide into his shadow.]
Hey, Ray. [His voice is a little husky from crying. He blows out a shaky breath as he goes back to wrapping up his stub. He soaked through the bandages earlier, and had to really clean it when he got home.]
Right now, its comforting.
He slows his walk as he sees her slide into his shadow.]
Hey, Ray. [His voice is a little husky from crying. He blows out a shaky breath as he goes back to wrapping up his stub. He soaked through the bandages earlier, and had to really clean it when he got home.]
[She's less than half a step behind, right on the precipice of possessing him, but holding back for the moment. It gets harder at the sound of his voice -- she shouldn't be making him speak. He needs to rest.]
Hi, Leo...
[She emerges again, taller than him but resting her chin intangibly against his shoulder to make things a little more even while she wraps her arms around him.]
I'm here.
[It's so hard, especially when she's fighting her feelings back to keep more things from breaking, but with enough concentration...her hold starts to have a little weight to it, arms just barely becoming corporeal. Enough to hug, and then enough to try and assist more with his bandaging, though her involvement has to stay minimal. She's not reliable enough to take over completely.
...She's not reliable enough, and she'd continue to be more and more unreliable as things kept piling up. But Leo still brought her into this, for both of their sakes. Being here is all she needs to do right now.]
I tried looking. He isn't... He isn't back yet.
[Even though it should have worked.]
Hi, Leo...
[She emerges again, taller than him but resting her chin intangibly against his shoulder to make things a little more even while she wraps her arms around him.]
I'm here.
[It's so hard, especially when she's fighting her feelings back to keep more things from breaking, but with enough concentration...her hold starts to have a little weight to it, arms just barely becoming corporeal. Enough to hug, and then enough to try and assist more with his bandaging, though her involvement has to stay minimal. She's not reliable enough to take over completely.
...She's not reliable enough, and she'd continue to be more and more unreliable as things kept piling up. But Leo still brought her into this, for both of their sakes. Being here is all she needs to do right now.]
I tried looking. He isn't... He isn't back yet.
[Even though it should have worked.]
[He releases a slow exhale, just relieved Ray is here. What weight he can feel is comforting. Leo closes his eyes for a moment, just soaking in the comfort of her presence.
He appreciates the help, even if all she can offer is steadying his stub a little, so it isn't as shaky.
He's making a bit better progress now. Leo swallows a little, trying to get his voice back to something less rough sounding. He isn't achieving it.]
I don't know why. He should have been.
I thought… I thought we did it right. [Elias was supposed to give them more for a sacrifice.]
He appreciates the help, even if all she can offer is steadying his stub a little, so it isn't as shaky.
He's making a bit better progress now. Leo swallows a little, trying to get his voice back to something less rough sounding. He isn't achieving it.]
I don't know why. He should have been.
I thought… I thought we did it right. [Elias was supposed to give them more for a sacrifice.]
["'Twas an oath forged with one who is not God -- betrayal is conceivable. Nevertheless, if you have faith that your oath is absolute, then how does that differ from any god?"
It makes her sick to think of those words at a time like this. They were words meant to poke and prod at her about someone precious, so applying them to Elias, who was manipulative, didn't see the consequences before it was too late, and who could be just as cruel as the one he said he wanted to fight against... Elias, who she hated even as she worked with determination to move higher in his ranks and bring others along with her, praying for their protection as well...
But it's true that he isn't really a god. He was just a kid that had a really messed up life, like any of them.
She can't have the same faith in him that she had in Zack, but she knows that what she did was never really guaranteed an exchange. She was the one that chose to act despite the risk of getting nothing in return, or losing things along the way.
...That isn't acceptable. For her, yes -- she could handle it, but Leo and Donnie deserved better. They deserved help.
She doesn't want to regret this just yet. They can't take that right now -- losing that bit of a foothold Elias could give them, if they played along. She can't let Leo pull away until she's sure.]
It... It can take -- time. [Her voice isn't firm, but it is the truth.] It took time before what I did changed things for me. You didn't do it wrong. You didn't -- do anything wrong.
[People have told her the same thing over much worse.]
We can ask. If he doesn't come back by tomorrow, we can ask him if there's a reason. It might be th-that the...earplugs take energy, or... You didn't do it wrong.
It makes her sick to think of those words at a time like this. They were words meant to poke and prod at her about someone precious, so applying them to Elias, who was manipulative, didn't see the consequences before it was too late, and who could be just as cruel as the one he said he wanted to fight against... Elias, who she hated even as she worked with determination to move higher in his ranks and bring others along with her, praying for their protection as well...
But it's true that he isn't really a god. He was just a kid that had a really messed up life, like any of them.
She can't have the same faith in him that she had in Zack, but she knows that what she did was never really guaranteed an exchange. She was the one that chose to act despite the risk of getting nothing in return, or losing things along the way.
...That isn't acceptable. For her, yes -- she could handle it, but Leo and Donnie deserved better. They deserved help.
She doesn't want to regret this just yet. They can't take that right now -- losing that bit of a foothold Elias could give them, if they played along. She can't let Leo pull away until she's sure.]
It... It can take -- time. [Her voice isn't firm, but it is the truth.] It took time before what I did changed things for me. You didn't do it wrong. You didn't -- do anything wrong.
[People have told her the same thing over much worse.]
We can ask. If he doesn't come back by tomorrow, we can ask him if there's a reason. It might be th-that the...earplugs take energy, or... You didn't do it wrong.
Feels like we did. It should have worked. Then Donnie would just... be back already. [He pauses bandaging to wipe at his eyes. The fabric of his mask around his eyes had been drying, but were starting to look suspiciously damp again. His voice wobbles somewhat alongside the tears.] I only made the dumdum plan, so I could make sure Donnie was safe. So, I could make sure he'll be okay even if I'm not.
[And now he was dead. His brother is dead.]
Okay. We... we can ask. [His belief in Ray is clear enough, given he doesn't push on the topic all that hard.]
[And now he was dead. His brother is dead.]
Okay. We... we can ask. [His belief in Ray is clear enough, given he doesn't push on the topic all that hard.]
Edited 2023-04-20 02:07 (UTC)
[Her physicality is weakened from the waver in his voice, which is good because otherwise she would probably be holding onto his stump too tightly.]
Y-yes. [She agrees quietly, an echo of herself.] We can ask.
[There. They...have a plan. ...And it's not enough, she'll find more. She already has ideas. She won't let it be for nothing.]
Come on, let's finish with the bandages. Were you hurt at all anywhere else?
Y-yes. [She agrees quietly, an echo of herself.] We can ask.
[There. They...have a plan. ...And it's not enough, she'll find more. She already has ideas. She won't let it be for nothing.]
Come on, let's finish with the bandages. Were you hurt at all anywhere else?
No, I- I wasn't hurt. I just... I went into the water and tried to get him out. I'm… [He tries to lie, but can't. He can't say, I'm fine.
He sniffles a little again.] not hurt.
He sniffles a little again.] not hurt.
That's good.
[Her already-quiet voice is even quieter, though it still seems loud to her in the atmosphere. Every sniffle from him is a shock of noisy static running through her brain. Still, she manages to concentrate enough to better assist him again, then phase to be in front of him and use the tangibility she's managed to thumb under his eyes along the wetted mask.]
Do you want me to stay out?
[Her already-quiet voice is even quieter, though it still seems loud to her in the atmosphere. Every sniffle from him is a shock of noisy static running through her brain. Still, she manages to concentrate enough to better assist him again, then phase to be in front of him and use the tangibility she's managed to thumb under his eyes along the wetted mask.]
Do you want me to stay out?
[He manages a thin kind of smile at the gentle gesture of wiping away tears.]
I'm good either way. I'm just... [He opens his mouth and closes it, clearly not sure what to say. How do you even describe the feeling of being unable to save your own sibling from dying?]
I'm definitely emotionally not doing so hot.
I'm good either way. I'm just... [He opens his mouth and closes it, clearly not sure what to say. How do you even describe the feeling of being unable to save your own sibling from dying?]
I'm definitely emotionally not doing so hot.
That's okay. You don't have to be.
[And this way he doesn't have to use the effort it takes to speak, or trying to describe anything. She knows it's exhausting, and he's exhausted enough.
She wraps her shadowy arms around him in a facsimile of a hug and disappears into him as she tightens her hold. The ultimate closeness, possession. Even with the grief and the guilt, she's comfortable here, coiling her mind around his and settling into the bends of his finger joints, tips of his ears, and curve of his beetle shell.
I'm here.
...You are not alone.]
[And this way he doesn't have to use the effort it takes to speak, or trying to describe anything. She knows it's exhausting, and he's exhausted enough.
She wraps her shadowy arms around him in a facsimile of a hug and disappears into him as she tightens her hold. The ultimate closeness, possession. Even with the grief and the guilt, she's comfortable here, coiling her mind around his and settling into the bends of his finger joints, tips of his ears, and curve of his beetle shell.
I'm here.
...You are not alone.]
[He exhales just a little at the hug, even if it leads into Ray fading away into him again. Its become a familiar feeling by now, a comfort in its own way.
It's a relief not to speak. He didn't take on that much water when trying to save Donnie, but... it was enough to be an aggravation on top of the emotional turmoil.
His feelings crash and rush into each other, waves of grief, frustration, exhaustion, and guilt, all disappearing into each other. Like the sea on a stormy night, his moods aren't quite settled into one place yet.
He exhales a little at the reassurance, easing a bit. His instinct is to hold onto her to show his appreciation, but Leo reframes for now. He knows Ray can feel his appreciation at least.
He picks back up on bandaging his stub. He tightens it, ignoring the dull ache from the tug of the bandage around flesh.
Thank you.
You're not alone either, okay?]
It's a relief not to speak. He didn't take on that much water when trying to save Donnie, but... it was enough to be an aggravation on top of the emotional turmoil.
His feelings crash and rush into each other, waves of grief, frustration, exhaustion, and guilt, all disappearing into each other. Like the sea on a stormy night, his moods aren't quite settled into one place yet.
He exhales a little at the reassurance, easing a bit. His instinct is to hold onto her to show his appreciation, but Leo reframes for now. He knows Ray can feel his appreciation at least.
He picks back up on bandaging his stub. He tightens it, ignoring the dull ache from the tug of the bandage around flesh.
Thank you.
You're not alone either, okay?]
[It's not the worst storm she's weathered -- well, not that she always handled the other emotional turmoils smoothly... But she isn't alone this time. She has him, and he has her. Ray relinquishes most of the control back on over to him, but in an effort to prove preserve some means of physical closeness, she holds his stub steady and pulls the reigns over to her side on the painful parts. Even with her own feelings about Donnie dying and with the vivid look into his, taking on the ache and the hoarseness didn't even begin to make them even in terms of the pain they felt.
I know.
She tries to take a slow, steadying breath but ends up pressing Leo's lips tight together to muffled the resulting cough. Oh, that sucks. But it will get better.
...And he wasn't. You were there. That's...really important. Dying with someone there with me was better than when I was dying alone, even when nothing could be done.]
I know.
She tries to take a slow, steadying breath but ends up pressing Leo's lips tight together to muffled the resulting cough. Oh, that sucks. But it will get better.
...And he wasn't. You were there. That's...really important. Dying with someone there with me was better than when I was dying alone, even when nothing could be done.]
[His lungs, their lungs, feel uncomfortable, still rough after having breathed in water. It will take time before he feels better. He takes at least passing solace in the fact the stub isn't actually hurt from all of this.
I wish I had gotten there sooner, or at least knew he was struggling against the stupid song. I thought he was okay.
I... I know it helped, I just wanted to do more? Actually save him.
Leo just exhales slowly, trying to get some semblance of control over himself. The comfort helps, but it won't fix things immediately. He wishes it did.]
I wish I had gotten there sooner, or at least knew he was struggling against the stupid song. I thought he was okay.
I... I know it helped, I just wanted to do more? Actually save him.
Leo just exhales slowly, trying to get some semblance of control over himself. The comfort helps, but it won't fix things immediately. He wishes it did.]
Edited 2023-05-01 15:59 (UTC)
Check your door by the arcade. You can thank me laters ;)
[There is no further explanation, but Ray when she goes to investigate will find a carefully bundled package. Within Ray will find two strings of garlands. When unfurled they are little casket shapes and human skull shapes. Veritas Morgue & Mortuary is written very carefully on each casket in silver ink.
Under the garlands is a small blue origami turtle, it is exceptionally lumpy looking.]
[There is no further explanation, but Ray when she goes to investigate will find a carefully bundled package. Within Ray will find two strings of garlands. When unfurled they are little casket shapes and human skull shapes. Veritas Morgue & Mortuary is written very carefully on each casket in silver ink.
Under the garlands is a small blue origami turtle, it is exceptionally lumpy looking.]
[!!!!
Excuse her, she has to go proudly show her coworkers how sweet of a brother she has, look!! Enjoy your envy, friends.]
♥
Everything's perfect. Thank you.
Who did the writing?
Excuse her, she has to go proudly show her coworkers how sweet of a brother she has, look!! Enjoy your envy, friends.]
♥
Everything's perfect. Thank you.
Who did the writing?
Me!
I got some great penmanship, apparently! Left hand secrets!
I got some great penmanship, apparently! Left hand secrets!
That's impressive, Leo! I really thought you got help. Your hard work is definitely paying off.
I will absolutely bask in this praise, whilst probably not doing this again for a while.
My hand definitely hurts.
My hand definitely hurts.
♥ ♥
Some extra hearts for you, then. These two will help you rest up.
[There are things she could say that are true -- "You didn't have to do that", "You could have asked for help" -- but...those also feel like they invalidate his effort and how much she appreciates it, a little.]
I'm happy. After the party I'm going to put them in our office.
Except the turtle. That comes home with me.
Some extra hearts for you, then. These two will help you rest up.
[There are things she could say that are true -- "You didn't have to do that", "You could have asked for help" -- but...those also feel like they invalidate his effort and how much she appreciates it, a little.]
I'm happy. After the party I'm going to put them in our office.
Except the turtle. That comes home with me.
[You couldn't have known.
Which doesn't help the wishing of it all, but it's important to remind him before he forgets. Once he's no longer occupied, Ray takes his hand up to his forehead and gently strokes up and back in light pets. It's been some time since she was a pooka or werewolf, and Leo is neither, but it still sticks in her head as a means of self-soothing. Maybe turtles like pets, too. She'd certainly like to pet a turtle.
It isn't fair. You did your best, but it wasn't fair.]
Which doesn't help the wishing of it all, but it's important to remind him before he forgets. Once he's no longer occupied, Ray takes his hand up to his forehead and gently strokes up and back in light pets. It's been some time since she was a pooka or werewolf, and Leo is neither, but it still sticks in her head as a means of self-soothing. Maybe turtles like pets, too. She'd certainly like to pet a turtle.
It isn't fair. You did your best, but it wasn't fair.]
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