sweartoyou | Ryslig

I'm just some guy whose good at talking himself up, Ray. I'm good at being really loud and distracting.

I'm realizing like... I should have taken the hint sooner, you know? Gladion practically told me to not bother him anymore back during Nattenfest, and I like... apologized to him later and tried to make amends. Be more normal for him. He didn't even like me then, either.

You're right though, I guess, he's right too. We would've never worked.

I dunno how you and Dee got together, he never talked about it. I assumed you guys like... talked and figured things out in your own time.

You are good at those things. You are also good at analyzing and confronting situations that may bring her physical harm. You are good at loving and putting a personal, creative touch on things. Though you desire to keep things to yourself for the sake of those around you, you have been good at allowing me to help you when you are struggling with the pain of your body and heart.

Please do not see my recounting of the tale as a mockery or criticism. I am trying my best to relate our experiences.

Donatello allowed me time to think when I requested it. If he had not, and I had been forced to produce a response or accurate explanation of my feelings, I do not believe things would have gone favorably. Additionally, as he had just returned from death, I was feeling particularly disinclined to lose him.

~~Your~~ Gladion and I are similar in that we do not believe ourselves to be capable of being good companions. I was able to express my reason for this belief beyond what Donatello already knew, and was accepted for it. If you have not been exposed to the harsher truths of Gladion, then he may not have felt that your affections were honest. You admire what you know of him and wish to know more, but that is not the same as truly seeing someone.

I believe I have told you before that I am not unused to attention or men who are willing to go beyond reason to provide me with what they feel I desire. While there have been moments of success, largely the attempts failed. I would not be the person I am if one of these men had not forced me to evaluate what was truly important to me and to acknowledge people as more than obstacles or providers... It is possible that something similar can be said for Gladion, though I hesitate to suggest that it would ever be possible that his issues be as severe as mine.

I apologize. That was quite a lot.

Edited 2023-07-16 01:52 (UTC)

No, no, you're good. I just needed a second to take it all in.

I guess that's fair. I didn't know him enough to even try telling him how I felt. I know we both have similar... parent issues, kinda. I think his mom might be here? I'm not sure, I'm guessing tbh.

I did tell him not a big deal if he wasn't interested, and I'd give him space if he needed it, since I'm a mess. I dunno what he would want anyway. He didn't like me joking around, he thought I was a little weird when I was too serious... idk.

Life is weird, Ray. I probably should just stay single anyway. Easier to focus on family that way.

[A few hours after the network explosion:]

Well, Rachel. Where did you end up?

[And, when he doesn't get a response....he'll check La Forteresse and be turned away, given an order he can't refuse.]

[He's likely already heard, from one source or another, that Rachel is no longer being kept in La Forteresse, and that she's safely recuperating with family, or maybe friends. When she'd found the strength to get a couple messages out and seen his, it wasn't a priority. It continues to be low on her list as she rests off her execution. Eventually, though, something nags at her just enough that she can't keep dismissing it, and after several minutes, the dully clicks what it is.

Huh. He didn't call her Rachel. He just...didn't. But...]

Jon?

I am afraid not. Never mind; I am well aware of what has happened.

[Oh. That's too bad. But she likes Sherlock, too.]

As expected, Sir.

[He's a great detective, after all.]

Before I go on, I would like you to understand that Bucky Barnes is very dear to me, and, while you may make whatever threats you like, any true harm to him will be most unwelcome.

Now. How are you? How goes your recovery? You've not lost a memory, I hope.

[He doesn't know how many times she's died.]

[Well...duh.

Of course, as a pure naphil again, she's far too polite to just say that, so instead she scrapes together the braincells necessary to formulate a real response.]

Mr. Barnes put people very dear to me at risk. We have discussed before about how if one of us causes great harm to Leonardo or Donatello, it is the other's right to put the offending party down.
Regardless, he did not make his appearance at La Forteresse. I did not harm him.

Presently unknown. Tired.

[Oh, that's an unfair agreement. Barnes would never touch her. Girl. Girl.]

I think that now is not the time to discuss who was at fault for the danger and harm that threatened them this week. I have no interest in haranguing you when you are recovering from a death.

[This is maybe the closest he gets to tact and consideration. An effort is being made?]

Your job at Veritas is intact, but you may take whatever leave of absence you require.

[And, after a moment more...]

I am sorry I could not reach you in time. I was turned away. I am not certain what was wrong with me, that I allowed such a thing to dissuade me, but I was unable to shake off the effect before you were killed.

[It's not her fault if Bucky wouldn't back up his bark with his bite the way she would.

The idea that her place in this world could have been at risk is a new, frightening one that sends her heart racing, which in turn makes her sick to her stomach. She was...far too aware of her heart. It takes a while for her to calm down and feel well enough to reply again.]

I understand.
It may unfortunately take some time.

I would not have desired your interference.
Simulacra are sus

[oof, okay, screw it, no more proper angel punctuation and fancyspeak.]

do what theyre told sometimes
looked that way

why would you risk it
you need that deal w
ith him

[Simulacra...do what they're told?

Is that...was that...

...oh, no. That explains...a great deal.

Once he's mastered his own horror at that, he types out a reply.]

The entire point of the deal is to equip me to assist those in need of assistance. To prevent humans and monsters from suffering fates they do not deserve. If I stood by and allowed you to come to harm simply because some puffed-up, self-appointed mutton-shunter of a policeman decided to kill you and pretend that it was justice, I...there would be no point in going on with it. It would merely be selling my talents to a man I despise for the sake of personal gain.

[It takes some time again for a reply.]

i did not need assistance
he treated me well
monsieur javert is not unreasonable he just
believes too much

I have heard the tapes of your interrogation and discerned what came after from the surveillance in the adjoining rooms.
He treated you brutally.

[just because it could have been worse doesn't make it okay!!]

[...Hmmmmmmm...]

if you say so.

[Seemed normal to her! On multiple levels. And...perhaps a little bit deserved, though not for the reason Javert thought or intended.]

If others who care about you hear of the details of what was done, it is very likely they will agree. This was senseless butchery -- not even an act of war! He has none of the authority he pretends at -- it is no better than any other attack on a fellow monster.

Your perspective on these things is different than most.

...it is my perspective and opinion that matter most in this case.
do not share the details freely please, Sir
it is unnecessary

[SIGHS. He presses his hands to his face, pinches his nose, before replying.]

Of course. Your wishes as to how to handle this matter should be respected, and in any case, I would not share such personal information without your consent. But you should be aware that if anyone who loves you hears what I heard...their anger on your behalf would be entirely justified.

they will not
it was not taped
I know what is included in the transcript
you only know because you had extra access and went digging

[...continuing to miss the point he's making.]

[BABYGIRL YOU WILL BE THE DEATH OF HIM

BUT OK]

I will be telling them that you were executed rather than released if I am asked. I presume that much is all right; I strongly advise against secrecy in that matter.

that is fine

[It would be difficult, if anyone checked up on her even through text, to deny that she was significantly weakened at the moment. She wouldn't want him to go around lying when he was so dedicated to the truth, anyway.]

but tell them it is over

I will pass on your wishes and the reason behind them, but I won't prevent anyone from doing what they feel is right.

I attempted to talk Barnes out of it last time, but

[But he hadn't meant to, had he? Not at the start.

Oh, hell. Damn and blast, he was told to keep Bucky out of it, and then Bucky all but pleaded with him to give him direction, and...

...the real winner here was Javert, wasn't it? Who can kill a girl, and face no consequence, because he happens to have amassed immense power?

It makes his blood boil to think of it.]

I would prefer to never become a simulacrum again.

[She can connect the two points, but she feels the puzzle pieces she has went together more from coincidence than design. It doesn't matter so much, though. Standing alone, the points are still significant. Sherlock tried to stop Mr. Barnes. Sherlock doesn't want to be a Simulacrum.]

he is very thick-headed mr. holmes
if I felt i had room to talk i would judge your taste in men more harshly

if you ever do, i will do what i can to preserve your free will, sir
jon was unable to help?

Jon cannot control what I do, and he is often quiet when I am engaged in conversation with another. He was not equipped to assist with my unfortunate reaction to the direct commands to lead Barnes away from the situation, rather than act in a way that preserved his autonomy and self confidence.

Still, I appreciate the offer.

[theyre not going to talk about his "taste in men." no. no. it is obviously perfect.]

[If You Say So]

I do not understand how he can be so stubborn and fragile at the same time

Ryslig | IC Inbox.

<TheCoolestTurtle>

< R.Gardner >

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<S.Holmes> not expecting this to get a reply till MUCH later if at all so dwbi but

< R.Gardner > much much later, indeed.

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<S.Holmes> simulacra are sus

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