sweartoyou | Ryslig

[She thinks about that a bit, how it was true that it still happened and the feelings weren’t really going away. But then there’s other words, and reading them clears away everything else. If she’d talked to someone in the network about therapy, then —

She should make sure. She shouldn’t scare her if she doesn’t have to, with everything going on.]

You’re seeing Dr. Danny?

[ She assumes this is surprise, that she’s that person. ]

Yes. I’m sorry for lying to you. Or at least not telling you before now. I didn’t know who you were when we talked and then when I figured it all out it felt weird to tell you… But you aren’t just Aunamee’s daughter. You’re your own person with your own thoughts. So, I don’t want to keep this from you anymore.

Yes, I’m seeing Doctor Danny. I don’t think I’m very good at all this but… I only started seeing him from your reassurance, so thank you. I hope I can get better at it all.

Stop. You have to stop seeing him.
Does he know where you live?

[ That throws her completely for a loop. Riley takes a stunned moment to reply. ]

No, we meet at his office.
Rachel, what's going on? You were the one who told me he would respect confidentiality.

Because I didn’t know who you were. You weren’t anybody yet.

Normally he wouldn’t break confidentiality. There are only a few people he’d do almost anything for. One of them is me, and I wouldn’t care enough to ask…but Dad is another. They’re seeing each other.

He knows who you are. There’s no way he doesn’t.

[ Her whole body chills. She looks at her laptop like she can't comprehend what she's reading, and she has to skim it over several more times. ]

They're together?
He knows?

no but he seemed so kind when we were first talkign
he said he cared
itold him everything adn he said he cared

[ ...But...

Didn't he have to rephrase things all the time? Didn't he in no uncertain words tell her no one would be missing her back home (so she wouldn't have to worry)? Didn't he tell her she was bound to snap (because of the pressure, no other reason, anyone would)? Didn't she keep thinking she was misinterpreting all those...little things? All the little things that fed into the poisonous thoughts digging their claws into her?

Has he not been trying to help her?

This whole time, has he...been making her worse? ]

i told him everything
auanmee knows everything?

I don't know. I don't know how much he knows. There's no reason for me to.

[After all, she's never met Riley. Never even talked to her, right? Asking about Dr. Danny's clients wasn't something she'd ever even considered before, it's so irrelevant.]

I'm sorry. I really didn't think there would be anyone he'd be a danger to in this place.

will he come after me if i try to leave?
wil he look for me?
i dont

why hasnt he just killed me?
ive been so vulnerable in there this whole time whyy hasnt he jsut

[ Breathe. Breathe, Riley, breathe. ]

how do i fix this?

I don't know. Dr. Danny doesn't give up easily once he has his eye on someone... I was never able to make him stop.
But if he hasn't killed you already, it's probably because he only wants to spy on you for Dad.

You're so bad at staying calm. Can you even lie?

[ She’d take that poorly if it wasn’t entirely and completely the truth. ]

spy? oh he does know everything
i can lie but
i usually just avoid people if i’m worried
can’t i just say i don’t want treatment anymore?

[In times like these, it's smart to acknowledge your weaknesses.]

He's persistent... He'll probably want to know why and if you think you're ready. He figures out ways. You should be prepared.

i thought i just had to worry about aunamee
i just wanted to get better

I'm sorry.
If I can find someone to help you, I will, Miss Riley.
He wasn't supposed to be a problem for anyone else.
If my other doctor comes, I'll tell you who she is. I will always be broken, but if you can be fixed then she might be able to help you.

And I'll tell you if I think of someone else Dad is close to like that or if I find out who killed Mr. Rabbit.
I'm so sorry, Miss Riley.

[ A response doesn't come for awhile. She's a little preoccupied, with herself, to really process what Rachel's saying.

But. ]

It's not your fault, Rachel.
I'm sorry about all that before, I didn't mean to lose it like that.

It's okay. I'll figure something out, alright? Please, you don't have to worry about me.

You're not broken.

[She feels like she should protest and offer more help than she has, but...how? She wasn’t any good at this sort of thing, and getting too involved could make things a lot worse for the other girl. Most of Riley’s words go by without commentary that would surely be unsure and unnecessary.]

It’s alright, Miss Riley. I know who I am and I accepted it a long time ago.
It doesn’t bother me like it used to.

[ Riley wants to find some way to reassure her. This is a young girl, she should...be a mentor of some kind. She should have something else to say. She shouldn't be the one getting so upset.

She shouldn't. ]

I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm so very sorry.

[ But that's all she can manage. ]

[ This should've been sent first. She realizes that now. Shit. ]

Rachel?
Are you okay?
I'm sorry I didn't let you know ahead of time about what I did.
I'm not going to say a single thing about you, I promise.

[It takes her a while to reply, though not nearly as long as she's spent staring at Riley's post and the growing number of replies weighing whether it's better to respond or not and knowing that no matter what, she'd have to be careful. Getting caught with a personal conversation with Riley herself wouldn't be very careful of her...but not replying at all isn't the right thing to do, either. Besides, she's alone...and surely Aunamee would keep things reasonable. He was her perfect daddy. Not like...

...Right. Riley was asking something.]

I'm fine. I should have expected it. Nobody's said anything to me yet.
You said Dad confirmed it in the dollhouse?
Is Miss Ikusaba really okay?

[ Frankly? She didn't think Rachel would respond at all, so. ]

Thank goodness. I won't mention you. We just have to keep it secret that we've been talking.
We were put in a scene together. He started bringing up things I told Danny about my childhood. Personal things.

Mukuro's alright. I'm making sure she stays home and rests while her eyes are healing.

I won't tell him, but I won't lie to him, either. If he really did bring up those things, then maybe he won't ask.

Trying to kill the doctor isn't a good idea. Even before he was a vampire, he lived through a number of things that could have killed him. Would you tell Miss Ikusaba that, and that I'm glad she's alright? She saved me when I was on the beach. The closest I can get to repaying her now is to let her know that Dr. Danny can get distracted by counting things like on Sesame Street, so having a lot of little things around to put on the ground in front of him might give you time to run away.

I know, I won't ask you to lie. I mostly just want to make sure you aren't put in a bad position.

I didn't want Mukuro to try and kill him. I didn't want anyone to get hurt, I know that won't help anything. I've told her not to and I'll tell her again. I don't want to share his weaknesses, I just don't want him to hurt anyone or vice-versa.

No. I didn't think you did. I don't want that either. That's why I think having a chance to escape would be for the best. He doesn't give up easily.

I know I only made this more awkward for you. I just didn't want anyone else who may be on your dad's bad side to have a similar experience.

I understand. I don't blame you, Miss Riley.

[Coin flip on whether she remembers later to let Riley know that he hasn't done it to anyone else...not that it particularly matters.]

I'm glad to hear that. I really don't want to make anything harder for you.

Ryslig | IC Inbox.

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<CheeryCherry> | cw: medical abuse/therapy malpractice

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